Serge Ibaka

Serge Ibaka is a professional basketball player. He plays for the team Oklahoma City Thunder of the National Basketball Association (NBA). He is flawless. There are better players on the NBA, and he is not the most popular on his team. Russell Westbrook is, but that is a whole other conversation. There is no actual reason for this blog. I just thought that maybe I would show Ibaka a bit of love.

Nature

I believe this is not one of the best photos I have done, but I absolutely adore it. I love the little water drop. I think it is cute and placed in the perfect place. Of course, I would make many different adjustments to the photo. One of the major things I would change is the camera I used to take it. I used a Sony instead of the Canon I am currently using. I am not going to sweat it though, I am sure there are going to be many other water drops to capture through my life time.

*Inserts Heart Emoji*

I have been forming a bad habit with staying up too late. It is not that I am staying up too late on my phone, but reading. I love reading, writing, and photography. I swear those are the last things on Earth that keep me sane. I am currently reading Stephen Lives by Anne Puryear. I would definitely recommend this book to people who are in deep depression from emotional abuse, or has a close friend/family member that is. I have got to warn you though, it will keep you up all night from the heart breaking to the heart warming events that happen in it.

Photography

I have been slaking on posting photography related things. Considering the fact that this whole blog is suppose to be about it. Even though I am not posting anything about photography; I am still into it. This photo is one of my best pieces, I would say. It is taken in Unalaska, Dutch Harbor, and I absolutely love it. I did make a few adjustments -that was just so you could see the photo clearly, and notice every last inch about it. My favorite thing about this photo is the sky and clouds. Although, a lot of things could be worked on. Anyways, I have confidence with this piece, and I will be sure to post more of my work.

His Name Is Depression.

I would like to introduce my old time friend, his name is Depression. I do not like telling most people about him because he is not suppose to be here, and people think they could get rid of him. I want Depression to be gone. I want someone to kill him. I have been trying to do it myself. I told one of my friends about Depression. Although, I could tell my friend does not care as much. My friend and my brother. The two most amazing people I know. They know about Depression. They know how much I am hurting from him, but they have other things to worry about. They suffer from him as well from time to time, but depression is with me all the time. Even when I am smiling or laughing. Depression has taught me how to act happy.

Depression has dragged me away from everyone. He is selfish and hates it with when I am with Happiness. Depression and Happiness are huge enemies. It is easier to see Depression for some people. I am starting to think that Happiness does not like me because I am with Depression all the time. But I have bait that attracts Happiness. Depression absolutely hates it. It is like rasism towards Depression. It offends him and kills him little by little. They are called antidepressants. The thing is, I do not like that I need bait to attract Happiness. I want Happiness to want to be there.
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Now, I completely know that Depression and Happiness are not actual people. I wanted to explain how I am feeling so everyone could understand. Yes, I am depressed. I have been depressed before. Everyone has. I am strong though, and I know I could fight it off somehow. I totally hope people relate to this, and I did not make it for attention. I wanted to write because it makes me feel better, like photography does. I love writing just as much as photography. They are my antidepressants, except not in a pill. I have so much stuff on my mind right now, it is overwhelming. I will write more as soon as l think of stuff and put them together so they make sense.

4:00 A.M.

10:00 P.M. The night you come home from what feels like the best day ever. Nothing could ever ruin this moment. You rush inside with that satisfying feeling of warmth hitting your exposed skin, excited to see your parents... You forget to lock the door. While brushing your teeth, you get a feeling that you forgot to do something. You cannot remember, so it must have not been too important. Plus you are too distracted by the flaws of your reflection. After brushing your teeth you crawl into your comfortable bed with the soft blankets, thinking it is the best place on earth. Finally, you fall asleep, feeling as happy and as safe as ever.

4:00A.M. Who would have known, the best, happiest, safest place on Earth could turn into the worst, most depressing, filthiest place. You wake up with what feels like a hand of ice covering your mouth. It is on top of you. It is sucking all of the strength, youth, dignity, innocents, and happiness out of you. You are so scared you can't move. Your stomach feels like it twisted inside out. You are so shocked you can't speak, you can't scream, you can't cry. But the absolute worst part about it, is that you can't see who it is. You can't see who is ruining your life. You can't see who is taking your youth away. Or maybe you did see them. Maybe you know who it is, but choose not to recognize them. Imagine pressing your finger tips against a stove at it's highest temperature, and having no medication to heal the wound. That is how piercing the pain is.

4:00 A.M. You wake up, shaking, scared, alarmed, sweaty, and breathing hard. You sit in silence trying to figure out what is going on. Then you finally realize, you just suffered your first case of sleeping paralysis. It was a dream.

Friends

In my opinion I have straight up friends. They do not sugar coat anything, and they are very mature. One of my close friends is 19 and is getting married this month. I am excited because I am going to be a bride's maid. She is completely mature and smart. I really look up to her when it comes to not caring about what other people think. When you go to her for advise you are not always going to hear what you want because she tells the truth. My other friend is smart, outgoing, and could cheer anyone up. He could either be hyper and happy or calm and mad. There is really no in between, but that is one of the things I like about him. He has a big heart too and cares a lot. I admire all of the ambition he has. For example, the thing his life revolves around is basketball, and he plays like he has never lost a game. What both of my friends have in common is that they influenced me to embrace the thing you have the most passion for and never be ashamed to speak your mind.

Positive

I realized I talk more about the negative than positive. No matter who you are, if you are warming, and comforting, people are always going to want to talk to you. You make yourself approchable, and your smile simply just brightens up the room. Having a positive personality, or really positive anything, makes you more attractive. You are always going to have better feedback than worse. And you are going to make a huge role model.

People

I am not trying to insult anyone, but we have a lot of negative mindsets in the place I live. I cannot see how depressed or aggravated a person can be on a daily basis. I will admit I have my times where I am completely mad or sad, but it is not every day. A lot of the people up here look at the things they do not have other than the things they do have. If you are sad or mad do not try to bring the rest of the world on your level. Especially if we had nothing to do with your negativity. You honestly just look less approchable, and it is not something to be proud of. "Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop."- A.N.

Michael

My brother's name is Michael(17). He is my only full brother and claims that he is very socially awkward even though he absolutely is not. If I am being real Michael probably is not the best person to talk to when you are sad because he does not give good advise. Although, I will admit that he gives the best hugs in the history of the world. Michael is very mature for his age. And is completely amusing to talk to. He is one of those people who use a lot of hand motion and changes their voices when they are telling a story. I always tell him he should be an actor or comedian. Not only is Michael good at telling stories, but he also plays the guitar well.

I would have to say Michael's guitar playing started in 2011. He probably sounded like the worst person to ever play the guitar. I thought that he would not find so much interest in it. Now he is as hooked on to it as ever, and is completely lost without his guitar. He sounds ridiculously good too. Michael has been going to a boarding school for about two years now, and has learned a lot out there. I cannot wait for this summer for him to come back, so I could all the the stuff he learned in person, not over the phone. I think Michael is one of those people who do not recognize their talent as much as other people do. I love Michael with all my heart, not only is he my brother, but he is my best friend.